"A Child is a Child of Everyone"

My recent encounter prompted this post and everyone needs to read this.

I was in my room that day and kept hearing a child screaming. I looked through my window and saw this woman in front of a building under construction behind my apartment violently hitting a girl of about 11 years with a stick and cursing her.

I wanted to ignore it because I didn’t think it was something serious when I noticed that the few people that walked past them didn’t try to stop the woman but when she continued hitting her and almost choked her, I concluded that the girl must be her maid so I dashed downstairs to rescue her.

Upon seeing me walking toward her, the woman looked at me sternly and said "madam please stay out of this, I beg you." I guessed it was what she said to the other people that scared them away from helping the girl but I was not having any of that.

I stood briefly hoping that my presence would make her end the abuse but she continued so I confronted her by grabbing the stick and forcefully pulling the girl from her. The girl was visibly shaking as she ran behind and held me tightly.

"Give me my child and stay out of this." The woman screamed at me in tears. I couldn’t understand why she crying when she was the one abusing a child but I ignored her and focused on saving the girl first. It took the intervention of the small crowd that had gathered to make the woman stop chasing me and the girl with her long stick.

As she walked away, she turned briefly and said "Just take her with you because I will kill her if she returns to my house." All my appeals as I ran after her with the girl still holding me firmly fell on deaf ears.

I realised as I followed her that she lived a few blocks away from mine and wouldn't let me or the child in when we arrived at her place.

She was the only occupant in the block of 4 flats hence no neighbours around to talk to. I stood somewhere with the girl and asked her to recount what led to the abuse and she told me that it was a regular thing for over 5 years each time her parents fought.

She was the only child being raised in an abusive home and forced not to tell anyone so she endured those years of abuse alone.

Her dad beats her mother regularly and her mum takes it out on her each time it happened. She's either starved, subjected to suffer long hours of punishment or beatings.

That morning, her parents had another fight before her dad travelled and her mother took it out on her again when she informed her about sexual harassment from 2 men working at a construction site close to their block. Her mother blamed her for it, beat and dragged her to the site to disgrace her. The site was empty because they were not working that day and this infuriated her leading to public abuse.

I almost died of shock hearing this girl's ordeal. I knew that she and her mother needed immediate help and that sending her back to that house that day would be too risky so I took her back to my place for a good meal before going to the nearest police station to report the case.

With the help of a friend, I was able involve the relevant government agency and they promised to send a representative to the police station to see the girl, visit her mother and take necessary action.

As I walked back home that day, the smile on the girl's face when they told her she wasn't going back to her house kept resonating and many thoughts went through my mind.

· Why didn't anyone notice the abuse all those years?

· What would have been the fate of that girl if I had also ignored the abuse like those people that walked past?

· What happened to our culture of the community being part of raising the child as we had in the past?

· Why did the woman endure those long years in a violent marriage without seeking help?

· What was her reason for always transferring her aggression to the girl?

Too many unanswered questions but the lessons are:

· Never ignore a child in need of help irrespective of who the person including the parents.

· The community which includes you and I also have a role to play in providing a safe space or environment for the children.

· Don’t be fooled into believing that biological parents raise children better.

· Be part of the reasons a child is safe and alive by taking immediate action when you sense danger.

· Don't always assume or conclude without probing further because things are not always the way they appear.

African Proverb

“A child is a child of everyone.” Remember this next time.

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Writer: Constance Ogonna Egwuatu

@constanceogonna