Being A Girl: An Unforgettable Experience

I want to use my recent experience to highlight one of the many challenges of being a girl and a young person in Nigeria.

The past week was the toughest, one of the most unforgettable experiences for me as a girl with the heightened security threats to schools at all levels in the nation's capital Abuja and the neighbouring state Nassarawa leading to the closure of schools.

It started when an anonymous online post asked parents and students to vacate my school (a private university) because a notorious terrorist group threatened to attack schools. This wasn't the type of news I was expecting since we were about to round up the academic session. What started as a mere threat soon led to panic and fear as parents came to the school demanding that the school authorities shut down the school or allow them to take their children home.

The school management tried hard to convince them that they had made adequate security arrangements and that the students were safe but many refused to accept their explanation.

Why should anyone believe them? With the rate of kidnapping and killings in the country, one could understand the parent's apprehension, especially those with girls in the school. The fear of rape or taking their girls away as young brides as witnessed made parents such as mine worried.

Photo: Digitest

One of the struggles of Nigerian girls is having to ALWAYS feel threatened, afraid or unsafe in situations like this because of our gender. It is quite exhausting!

Not even the sandbags barricade, armed security personnel and vehicles deployed to our once relatively safe school environment which now wears the look of a military checkpoint of some sort could douse my fear. My anxiety got so bad that I started having trouble concentrating and preparing for my examination. I worried about my safety and that of other girls especially because my hostel was close to the bushes which gets scary at night.

I worried about the possibility of making good grades following the change in our examination timetable from 2 weeks to 1 week with so much to cover.

I worried about losing another academic year having lost one after changing my course from Physiology to Public Health.

As much as I tried, I couldn't help but worry so much.

It was a roller coaster of negative emotions for me which increased with each passing day from thinking of what could happen to me and the other girls if my school came under attack as threatened. With many of the previously kidnapped girls from other schools still in the hands of their captors after so many months and years and some of them already mothers, one would understand my fear.

My nights became day as I stayed awake to study and looked through my window into the dark bushes for any signs of a possible attack or to be sure that the security personnel were still there. I spent most of the day with my friends and roommates planning our possible escape or safety measures should anything happen. We were all traumatised and didn’t stop praying to return home safely.

One of the struggles of young people like me is getting people to stop assuming that they are fine all the time, that they can adjust easily to any kind of situation and don't need help in making such adjustments no matter what they are going through. People must understand that children and teenagers also have mental health issues and are psychologically affected by certain situations just like everyone else.

Take for instance, many didn’t know that after such a traumatic experience at school that there is a need for emotional support or therapy of some sort for all the students at home, especially the girls because the experience could either lead to a health crisis for those with existing medical conditions like me or make many decide not to return to school?

Though I am home now, I still find it difficult to sleep at night just thinking of the armed security personnel, the sirens, flashlight in the bushes, the sandbag barricade and other scary thoughts that fill my mind.

I am still traumatised by everything but presently undergoing therapy and hope to get better especially after having a severe stress-induced asthma attack.

I am advocating for FREE therapy for children and teenagers who need it, especially after such a traumatic experience to help reduce juvenile delinquency and other negative behaviour.

I also want the government to ensure that the learning environment is safe for learners and others to avoid low school enrolment, withdrawal truancy and truncated or interrupted academic calendar.

Parents and those saddled with the responsibility of caring for a child should also provide the necessary help when the need arises.