Child's Safety and Protection: What You Are To Do

As a sequel to the previous post on how children are exposed to dangers of rape, kidnap, verbal and physical abuse, death among others, here are a few suggestions on ways that you can help keep the children safe and out of any possible danger at home, school and other places they may find themselves.

What to do:

1. Teach them contentment: children who tend to long for things outside what they have or are given by their parents are easy prey to kidnappers. As parents and caregivers, it is important to teach the children how to be satisfied with what they are given at home and to resist any temptation to collect anything from anyone outside. Two children who were recently rescued from their kidnappers said they were lured with biscuits by their abductors.

2. Give them periodic treats: periodic treats should suffice to help the children overcome the temptation of collecting certain things from people. You can buy or take them out for ice cream, buy them candies, biscuits and fruits. Give them what you can afford and teach them to be satisfied with that. Remember that emphasis is on the word ‘periodic’, which means it should not be regular and caution should be applied so they don’t get so used to it to the extent of taking it from anyone who can offer them such treats when you don’t.

3. Show more and talk less: to keep the children safe, do more of showing them the safety measures you want them to adopt rather than spend hours talking to them. A combination of the two is advised because when in danger, they are most likely to remember some of what you told and showed them and quickly apply them to save their lives.

You can use pictures, video clips, illustrations, physical demonstrations, etc to show or teach them:

a. different unsafe scenarios, signs of danger, and stories (be careful not to show them upsetting or sensitive images).

b. how to scream or run.

c. how to look for exit routes.

d. how to call for help and who to call (speed dial or dial emergency number for children that have access to a phone)

e. ways to possibly distract the perpetrators before help comes.

f. ways to talk or respond to strangers (what to say and not to say).

g. how to safely use available tools and equipment at home (e.g fire extinguisher, in the case of fire etc)

4. Be available: being available does not mean that you have to be physically present always but includes putting measures in place to ensure that your absence is not felt. You may choose to do any of the following:

i. constant calls.

ii. install a CCTV camera in the house that can be viewed on your mobile device

iii. get a trusted person to check on them often or put your neighbour on alert for you.

iv. make unscheduled visits.

5. Don’t trust everyone: it is not out of place to add this to the list considering the number of crimes reported to have been committed on the children by friends, relatives, neighbours and teachers. Save to say that the enemy is often close-by. Recently, a man tweeted about the awful sexual thoughts he was having after his neighbours informed him that they were planning to leave their teenage daughter with him to embark on a short trip to the village because they didn’t want her to miss school. They had a reasonable level of trust in that neighbour not knowing that he had an ulterior motive towards them. My advice is that if you do not have a way to determine the person’s actual thoughts and actions, please don’t trust that person with your child.

6. Don’t shut them up: for the safety of your child, avoid hushing or not paying attention to them when they have something to tell you no matter how busy or tired you are. By doing this, you will become distant from the child and won’t be privy to any information regarding threats or problems that the child could be going through.

7. Teach them your details: your child should know your actual name, surname phone number and house or office address. Often when kidnapped or missing children escape or are rescued, people find it difficult to locate their parents because when asked, they refer to their parents as ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ without being able to provide any address.

8. Be more observant and inquisitive: even when they don’t come to you to complain, observe and ask questions when you suspect anything. Look out for signs of fear, physical or psychological changes as a result of abuse or other threats. It is sad to know that most parents take a long time to realise that their children have been sexually abused or is in one form of danger because they failed to see the signs or notice the changes early.

The story of the teenage stowaway in Edo state some time ago is a good example. This teenage boy suddenly changed from being around people to spending more time in his room alone, without anyone realising that he was watching movies and perfecting his plans to run away from home.

9. Spend quality time with them: there is no shortcut to knowing what your children are going through if you don’t spend quality time with them. Some parents work Monday to Friday and still leave the children alone to socialise on Saturday and Sunday. What time do you have left to spend with them? Let your children understand that you have to work but also let them see that they mean something to you by making up for the hours you are not able to spend with them while at work. Plan regular family outings, take up a few tasks that the nanny does with them like doing their homework, taking them to the salon, shopping, watching television and playing games. By doing this, you get to see and hear them share their problems and other good things happening to them.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/90940c_4e7b7ea9ffcf442482e0e45ae89a4a43/720p/mp4/file.mp4

video credit: @yabaleftonline

10. Monitor their activities: monitoring is a vital way of understanding your child to know when they are in danger or hurting and knowing what they plan to do. Don’t take certain behaviours as normal or age-appropriate without taking more time to monitor or observe the consistency of those behaviours and find immediate solutions if life-threatening the case of the 10 years old boy in a Lagos school that tried to kill his classmate by poisoning his water with acid is a good example of the need for constant monitoring. The boy hadn’t been happy for a while because he dropped from the first position in class and felt threatened by his classmate who took that position and thought of poisoning him with acid from the school lab as a solution without anyone realising it. Remember to also watch what they watch on television, monitor their screen time and what they do online.

11. Do a detailed background check: don’t leave any stone unturned when choosing your child’s school, home teacher and domestic staff. Don’t forget to also probe your neighbour and friend before allowing them anywhere near your children. Don't be in a hurry to employ anyone or enrol them in any school or leave them in the care of anyone just because you are under pressure to go back to work or business.

12. Regular Updates: Keep updating the children on happenings and additional safety measures. This means that as a parent or caregiver, you need to regularly update yourself with information on safety and protection.

13. Report any suspicious activities: this can be likened to ignoring symptoms on a child’s body till it escalates to a serious health crisis. If you notice any unfamiliar faces, movements or activities around you, report to the right authorities immediately. There’s no need to wait till something happens before you take action. Delay could be dangerous, so it is safer to report early and be told there’s nothing to worry about than to keep quiet and it turns out you were right to have acted fast.

The case of Bamise, the lady that went missing and later found dead is a good example of acting fast. She knew something wasn’t right when she boarded the BRT bus and immediately started sending messages to her friend with details of the bus number, route, activities etc. Though she didn’t survive the ordeal, the early information she gave, helped to track the culprit.

14. Don’t isolate yourself from others: as much as it is advised to watch who you trust it is important not to isolate yourself from others especially your close neighbours so you can have someone close to call or to call you in case of an emergency. A 12-year-old girl whose father was out of town almost lost her life recently in Abuja when she had an asthma attack at 1.30 am and her scared mother who wasn’t relating well with her neighbours couldn’t reach anyone for help till 6 am when she was able to get a taxi to take her to the hospital. Anything could have happened to the girl that night because her parents isolated themselves from others. It is not worth the risk please relate with someone.

15. Help Others: this is an urgent call to ‘be your brother’s keeper.’ Don’t keep any information you have about safety and protection to yourself to help save the lives of others. It is important to discuss or share information with friends, neighbours, relatives, colleagues and anyone that needs to hear it without any affiliation to you such as the market women, rural dwellers, roadside vendors and others. Anywhere you notice danger for any child (not only yours), please alert those concerned and act fast to save the life of that child.

Conclusion

The list is inexhaustible but all you are expected to do is to be more vigilant and do all you can to help protect and save the lives of our innocent children for the sake of their future.