Bring Out the Best in Your Child: Eight Useful Tips

Did You Know?

Parents, guardians and child care providers often make certain demands from the children in their care and expect them to live up to certain expectations without an assessment of themselves to ascertain how much they are investing towards preparing these children to (possibly) live up to those expectations.

A few questions they have to ask themselves are:

a. Level of involvement: how involved are we in the affairs of our children or those of others in our care?

b. Availability: are we always available or do we use proxies who are often inexperienced?

c. Time and resources: how much time and resources are we committing or willing to commit?

d. Role model: what type of role models are we to the children?

e. Expectations: have we set standards and expectations for the children without considering the peculiarity of each child and the possibility of meeting those expectations?

There are more questions, but let's consider these few for now and concentrate on how they are applied to the children's education, career, lifestyle, talent/potentials, general well-being among others before ticking each question or faulting them as being stringent.

No one ever said that parenting or caring for a child would be an easy task, but as arduous as it seems, you have a responsibility to help that child develop physically, mentally, socially, academically and morally as much as possible. You can help that child be the best at whatever he or she set out to achieve by applying these ten easy tips:

1. Be your child’s friend and confidant: you can’t bring out the best in any child if that child sees you as either a competitor, threat or an enemy rather than a trustworthy friend. Here are a few ways to achieve this:

a. gain their trust by building a friendly relationship. Avoid overreacting constantly to everything they do so that they can be free to open up to you. It is important to develop and grow this relationship early.

b. probe into their private affairs in a subtler way so you don’t scare them into keeping to themselves and running to others for advice or counselling.

c. be open and give them the opportunity to also open up to you.

d. be a good listener even when their conversations seem too long, irrelevant or unnecessary.

e. create a playtime with them and make it one of your regular bonding routines.

2. Lead by example: whether you are a parent or guardian, you are required to be a good role model to the children in your care because they learn more from what they see than what they are told. Are you aware that children look up to their caregivers first before any other person? They expect you to show them the right path by doing the right things always. Forcing them to do certain things because they are children, often leads to negative outcomes which include abuse.

3. Do the uncommon: Don’t be predictable by allowing your child to get used to a particular routine. You can engage in the following activities with the children:

a. go to the salon, market, mall etc.

b. play indoor or outdoor games.

c. take them on periodic outings and excursions.

d. attend their school events even if it requires your leaving work early. Knowing that you make such sacrifices for them will draw them closer to you.

It is often during uncommon activities that you can discover your child’s capabilities, potentials, problems, talents etc. For instance, a walk or ride to the salon could make your daughter open up to you about sexual harassment or bullying at school. An indoor game of choice could help you know that your child has an interest in singing, writing (stories/songs), painting etc. Do not trivialize any special ability they exhibit during your special moments together.

4. Nurture their talents: support and not talk down on your child's talent. You are encouraged to help that child nurture and showcase such talents or skills. This will help the child develop the needed confidence to excel in other areas.

5. Be more affectionate: compliment your child regularly and display open affection as often as possible to avoid raising a child that is emotionally disconnected from people. Children that enjoy the needed affection from their caregivers, tend to excel in both academic and non-academic activities.

6. Be a participating parent: children tend to excel and also develop the necessary confidence needed to engage in different activities (academic and non-academic) when they know that their parents will be there for them every step of the way. Be more involved, don't be too busy to physically participate in all activities involving your child and avoid regular use of proxies as much as possible.

7. Punishment and reward: avoid over pampering your child and correct any wrong but not without offering an explanation. This does not include physical or verbal abuse of that child. Don’t also deny the child that desired reward for any good deed. This will help shape the child’s pattern of behaviour.

8. Be up to date: be informed enough to offer appropriate advice, counselling and treat issues raised by your child accordingly, discuss age-appropriate subjects and don’t ever make your child think he is smarter.

Remember

Every child is unique with his or her own peculiar abilities and should not be compared to others. It is the responsibility of their caregivers to nurture their distinct abilities and empower them with important life lessons to enable them be the best at whatever they find themselves doing using the tips above and more.

"Every child is unique, asking a child to be like another is a self esteem killer."