The Enemy Within

Image 1:

5-year-old Khadija Abdullahi was reportedly kidnapped and subsequently murdered by their 52-year-old neighbour Kabiru Abdullahi also considered a family friend in Bauch State Nigeria.

May I have your Attention

If you are one of those who still entrust your children to friends, neighbours, relatives, teachers, and other acquaintances because of your close ties or relationship with them, you need to pause and rethink.

By now, I expect that you should have seen or heard daily reports of new cases of children being molested by those known to them and the figures are not about to reduce anytime soon if you don’t apply immediate caution.

Nationally and globally, there are reported stories of:

· Child rape by trusted friends or family members including fathers.

· Children being killed out of negligence or for other malicious reasons such as punishment for wrongdoing by either their parents, grandparents or caregivers.

· Abuse and other offences against the children perpetrated by people known to them.

Victim Suspects (victim's grandmother and mother)

Image 2:

A 4-year-old in Louisiana has allegedly died after her grandmother forced her to drink whisky as a form of punishment while her mother watched and did nothing to help.

Here are a few signs to show that there has been a breach of trust

1. They always ask you to send your children to them without you asking.

2. They always inquire about when you would be out and for how long.

3. They never have good things to say about that child except complain and suggest that you give them more time to enable them to tame that child for an ‘imaginary’ problem they created.

4. Some resort to praising or saying nice things about the child for no particular reason except confuse you into believing they are doing an amazing job in helping to care for that child.

5. The children suddenly don’t want to be left with such people anymore because they fear and resent them.

6. In the case of physical abuse or rape, look out for unexplained scars on the child’s body and visible changes in movement, countenance and general demeanour.

7. When a child suddenly becomes attached or drawn to the person, do more probing.

Image 3:

61 and 27 years old suspects from Umudim Nnewi, Anambra State, alleged to have raped 3 siblings including an11-month-old baby after their mother left the children in their care.

These are just a few out of the numerous cases reported daily globally and they should serve as a warning to everyone.

What I know and Advise:

· Before you teach a child not to trust anyone, you should also learn not to trust anyone no matter the type of relationship you have with them.

· Be suspicious and don’t ignore any warning signs that there may be danger lurking somewhere.

· Not setting limits and boundaries from inception gives not only exposes the child to danger but also makes it easier for the child molesters to have their ways easily. You’ll hear them tell the child “if there was a problem with what I am telling you or about to do, someone would have told me not to.”

· Dismissing your child’s early verbal and non-verbal cues may have dire consequences.

· It’s easier for a trusted person to successfully carry out their nefarious acts against children and not be suspected or caught easily.

· Never tell or remind anyone you plan to leave your child with how much you trust them, especially family members. Let them know you also suspect them and won’t hesitate to punish them should they betray your trust.

Know This:

There are still good people out there but because there is no way to tell the bad ones, it is better to treat everyone the same by putting necessary measures in place to ensure the safety of the children in the care of those close friends and family members.

African Proverbs

"The one who beat children should not be entrusted wiith children."

"Only a fool tests the depth of a river with no foot."

Don’t wait for your child to be a victim before you use your sixth sense.