Entitlement: an unhealthy trend

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/90940c_79a70396cedd4a6eb72c00caa18fcc51/720p/mp4/file.mp4

It is common practice in most parts of Africa especially Nigeria for parents to feel some form of entitlement towards their children irrespective of their age, status, and position. From a very young age, parents already have expectations and want their children to live up to such expectations. They will stop at nothing to ensure they succeed even if it requires emotional 'blackmail' by constantly reminding the children of how they came to this world and why they need to return that 'birth favour.' Any form of objection or refusal by the child often leads to neglect, verbal, physical abuse, or a combination of all. The video above is a perfect example of the level of pain that a child has to go through just to satisfy an entitled parent.

Case in point

The young girl in that video who is between10-12 years is tired from the number of chores she does in the house and decided to speak to her mother about it. She could be heard telling her mother "I am not going to work. The work I did yesterday is too much for me." She didn't stop there but continued to express her frustration at being made to do so much work at home by asking her mother "you want to kill me?" She went further to remind her mother that she didn't do as much as she did as a child. The part that perfectly relates to this post is where she said, "because you gave birth to me doesn't mean you should not now work. You have to work because you have to learn new stuff." Her mother continued to press further till the girl reminded her in their native language not to kill her. "don’t come and kill my life" she reiterated.

Views

As expected, the video elicited different reactions such as:

· Many think that she was rude and should be severely punished by her mother. They were quick to remind her that in Nigeria, children are expected to accept anything their parents throw at them and have no right to complain or confront their parents even if they die in the process of satisfying them.

· Some didn't see past her gender and wanted her to know that as a girl, what she was asked to do is an important step to becoming a 'perfect' wife in the future.

· Only a few felt her pains and frustration and applauded her for standing up to her mother.

Unpack

For a moment, let's focus on her reasons for reacting and take our attention away from the girl's age, gender, tone, and countenance.

· Her mother doesn’t do much in the house and expects her to do so much without considering her age thereby prompting her outburst.

· She’s visibly exhausted from those physical and mental draining chores and wants it to stop.

· She also raised a valid point which further reveals the style of parenting in this part of the world where children are often exposed to hard labour and exploitation to the extent of making that child fear for his or her life like the girl in the video who pleaded with her mother not to kill her with constant strenuous chores.

Take Note

Before you draw your conclusions, take note of the following:

· Exploitation of a child is a violation of that child's right to be protected from any form of mistreatment. A girl of that age shouldn't be subjected to that amount of labour or chores under any guise.

· A child’s physical strength should be considered when asking that child to take up certain tasks. That young girl appeared exhausted from the incessant chores she was being subjected to at home and had to speak out.

· The child’s mental health should also be protected by allowing them to do age-appropriate activities and not shutting her up because our culture doesn’t permit that children let their parents know exactly how they feel about certain situations so they don’t come out as being insolent.

· Those that perceive the child as being disrespectful and going against the culture of doing all their parents asks of them without any objection because she expressed herself in the best way she could, should be aware that the child has the right to freedom of thought and expression hence didn’t commit any offence.

· Correct a child if you feel the manner of expression isn’t correct but never shut that child up from freely expressing him or herself to avoid self-harm, seclusion, social and emotional disconnection. They have the right to the protection of their physical and mental integrity.

Quote

"Never stop a child from expressing him or herself to avoid losing that child's trust to confide in you when in any form of danger."